Monday, March 7, 2011

Weaning, a Postmortem

Now that weaning is officially over, I can say, hands down, that I am in favor of it.  Sure, naps and bedtime are a little less certain now, but I have a sense of freedom now that I didn't even realize I was missing.

I can go someplace, and Willow will still take a nap (or not.  But it won't have anything to do with me).  Dave and I can go out to dinner, and Willow will still go to bed (in theory.  We haven't tried this yet.  Or the nap, come to think of it). 

So obviously I haven't taken much advantage of this newfound freedom, but I love the sense that I can. And I keep making plans (We'll to go the movies!  We'll go out to dinner!   I'll go spend the day in the city by myself!) and I love the plan-making for its own sake.  She doesn't need me specifically anymore.

And therein lies the rub, doesn't it?  Before we weaned, I would walk into a room in the morning, and Willow would be overjoyed to see me.  She would light up, and whimper and kick her feet frantically to have me hold her (and then nurse her.  Obviously).  She doesn't do that anymore.  I say good morning to her, and sometimes she doesn't even look up. 

I know that her love for me is as strong as ever, and I know that she knows that my love for her is equally undiminished.  And I know that it's a good thing that she can rely on people besides me, and it means that she will eventually be able to rely entirely on herself--also a good thing. 

It is, though, a little desolate-feeling sometimes.

1 comment:

Lainey said...

Oh have I been there! She's at that independently dependant age. It gets better, she'll need you more than ever soon.. then she won't need you.. then she'll need you.. It's a vicious cycle. Filled with love..