Not me. I've still got it. Mental faculties present and accounted for.
It's Toaster. Case in point:
He comes home from school yesterday, and asks:
Toaster: Can I have candy for a snack?
Now, this is a crazy talk question to which the answer would invariably be no, so I say:
But then, foolishly, I keep talking. See, Dave had planned to make pancakes for dinner as a special treat, so candy would be an unusually bad idea.
Nikki: Dad has a surprise in mind for dinner, so have a healthy snack.
Toaster: What is it???
Nikki: It's a surprise.
Toaster: Is the surprise that we're going to a show on Broadway?
What?! This is virtually unheard of, and really unheard of on a school night when I'm nine months pregnant. I stare at him.
Nikki: No. Lower your expectations, dude. It's a surprise for dinner. Take your expectations and shove them under the bed.
Toaster: Okay. Is the surprise that you're in labor?!!?
Nikki: No! Haven't you seen any television? I would not be standing here chatting with you if I were in labor!
Toaster rushes over to feel my very obviously protruding belly.
Toaster: Is the surprise that you've had the baby?
Nikki: Are you nuts? No! Go do your homework!
What to make of this? Pregnancy is supposed to addle the pregnant person's brain, not the brains of the people around her.