Friday, September 25, 2009


As I was on my way to meet my friend Nicole for lunch, I reflected on how I hadn't seen her in a while, and I knew she was wanting to get pregnant at some point but wasn't quite ready yet, and was a little sad about that, and I decided that given my complete and utter dislike for the pregnant state of being, I was just going to go ahead and vent and tell it like it is. So then she wouldn't feel so bad about not being pregnant right now. Cause it's no fun, right?

Nicole: You look great! How are you? You're getting so big! How are you feeling?
Me: Huge. I waddle, and it makes my back hurt, and I'm not even that big yet. Also my organs feel like they're squishing into my lungs. And did I tell you about the vomiting that sent me to the hospital? That was a good time. And I started crying on the way to work today for no good reason.
Nicole: (small voice) Oh. I'm sorry to hear all that. Tell me some of the good things, though. I bet the kicking's fun.
Me: Yeah, the kicking's fun, except she's decided she really likes to have a soccer match with herself in the middle of the night, and so I can't sleep. Anyway. Sorry to just lay in there with the complaining. What's new with you?
Nicole: Well, you know how I said we were going to wait? We changed our minds. So we're trying! You know, trying in the sense of not-trying-to-stop-it.
Me: Oh. (Pause.) Hey, congratulations!

Whoops. No sugarcoating here. Pregnancy sucks. At least she knows what to expect. And at least she's not, you know, currently pregnant. Although if that were the case, she'd just be joining the complaining bandwagon with me.


Anonymous said...

You'll probably look back on this pregnant time and have some good laughs. (Except not about the vomiting, no). You'll need a sense of humor around late November when you may have to be creative to get yourself up and out of your comfy couches. Your thighs will be in the way of your stomach, somehow. But be thankful that your legs are long. A shorter Auntie of yours once got herself wedged between the steering wheel and the back of her seat because her legs were too short to reach the pedals and she schooched the seat too far forward. Had to call for help. True story...

Anonymous said...

I wonder which Auntie that is?