Willow and I have gone to two different parent-and-baby activities now, one in Hoboken and one in Brooklyn. And while I may not be the most sociable person, I do like to have some friends, and the idea of having friends with babies is appealing*--people who understand why you can't manage to eat neatly with a baby on your lap, nor can you really pay your friend much attention when they're talking, nor can you get your stroller into most restaurants, etc. And etc.
But friends I have not found. Most of this is due, I'm sure, to my own wallflowerish tendencies, but I have sensed a very definite vibe from certain of the mothers. Not only do they not want to be friends with me, but I think they actually hate me.
I'm not kidding. I'm getting the hate vibe, and I don't know what I've done, except be younger than all of them.
I think the problem is geographical. Women in the New York area tend to wait until they are older to have kids; many of the women in these classes clearly waited until they needed fertility treatments, which puts some of them fifteen to twenty years older than me (which, by the way, is how much older than me my husband is, so I don't care, but the hate vibe tells me they do). The funny thing is that by Hawaii standards, I'm old. I graduated high school before having a kid! In fact, I waited ten whole years after that! Old As Dirt Mom, am I.
Clearly I am stereotyping, on both sides of the Pacific, but there is a grain of truth here. And I'm sure I don't help matters by showing up to Baby Swim Class in a bikini, but a) it makes breastfeeding possible, which a one-piece wouldn't, and b) they're all I own, and I'm not going to plunk down $50 I don't have to fit in with the mom crowd.
So. Not going to be making any friends, it seems.
*So welcome to the world, Emily Isabelle, and boy am I glad you're here!